Step Right Up...

I have had some complaints recently. I know, I know. Who would want to complain about a grade A site like this one? Communists, that's who. And not even good Communists. These people didn't even have the decency to complain publicly. They tracked me down, to complain to my face. What was the complaint, you ask? Not enough pictures. Apparently these people won't read a book without pictures, let alone a blog. So, for you people, (you know who you are), here are your damn pictures.
FREAKS!! For years, these people earned a living by exploiting themselves for fun and profit. With all the advances in modern technology, and the advances in political correctness, freaks have virtually been wiped off the planet. When was the last time you saw a set of conjoined twins, or a dog faced boy (and no, your senior prom date doesn't count)? I for one miss the freakshow, not that I ever saw one. So, in the spirit of P.T. Barnum, I am reviving the old time freakshow.
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! One time only! This is it folks! Your last chance to see all the greats!! Just two bits, that's twenty five cents!. Not for the faint of heart, pregnant women, or small children!! Come, see, if you dare!!

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See the amazing Lobster Woman, who was born with hands like some sort of fleshy claws. Don't forget the incredible... Mermaid Baby!! Sirenomelia is a condition that occurs in the womb, where the legs fuse together, forming a tail like appendage. Most children born with sirenomelia die within hours of birth. Aren't genetic mutations fun?? For more mutation entertainment see.. The Human Centipede!!! Aren't they adorable, in a horribly, horribly creepy sort of way? And speaking of conjoined twins, here comes two of the loveliest ladies ever to grace this stage.

Violet and Daisy Hilton (no relation to Paris, but wouldn't it be fun if they were?)!! These two ladies were joined at the butt, and shared a circulation system, which means that they could share sensations. These two were forced to perform for years by their surrogate mother. When they eventually got their freedom, they retired from show business, and got a job at a supermarket. Wouldn't you want them to ring you up??

More Conjoined twins!!! They's just so much fun, aren't they?? I can't think of anything more fun... except...

The Rubber Man!! Watch as he pulls the skin from his neck up and over his face!!!! Oh, and here comes my personal favorite...

Johnny Eck!! Johnny here was born without a lower half, and learned to walk on his hands! He had a twin brother who used to tour with him. They had an act where his twin would go into a box, get sawed in half, and Johnny would come out. What an act! Oh, but aren't we lucky! We have with us The Human Torso himself, Prince Randian!!!

This guy is amazing! He has no arms and no legs, yet he can shave, paint, and roll and and light his own cigarettes! On top of that, he can also speak three languages. I have all my limbs, and I can't do any of those things.

Oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen. I have a special treat for you. I have just been informed that we have a celebrity here, and for just two bits more, you too can gawk at him. Come on folks. Twenty five cents to see a legend.

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And now, without further ado. The one, the only... Joseph Merrick!!!

Joseph Merrick, or as he is more commonly known as, The Elephant Man, was made famous by Dr. Frederick Treves, but he was immortalized in David Lynch's 1980 film, appropriately titled, The Elephant Man. Joseph was a kind, caring, and suprisingly intelligent human being. He was well spoken (as best he could), could read and write, and often spent his days writing poetry. Had it not been for his freakish appearance, he would have been quite the catch. Joseph died in his sleep in 1890. Like the film suggests, his head fell back, and under it's weight, dislocated his neck.

Well, there you have it. Pictures. I hope all you poo-pooers and nay-sayers are happy now. You've reduced my brilliant writing to, well, a freakshow. Enjoy it while you can.